Comfortably numb

Oh you live in the sticks…. ****hole of nowhere then….You know there’s some nice houses on Property Pal…. I couldn’t live up there….Bet it’s a nightmare in the winter……

And yes, it is a bit of a nightmare in the winter, at times, but at the minute I couldn’t be more grateful to live where we do and I’m sure there are many fellow hill billies that feel the same. We have the room to breathe, when a lot of people are feeling suffocated, literally.

And up in the hills the daily contact with humans can be negligible at the best of times, so for now, our bubble stays intact. Having the benefit of maturity, I know what keeps me sane and I know that horses are a huge part of that equilibrium. So to be able to keep my daily routine with Tag and have the comfort of his nudges (ok, sometimes headbutts), is playing a crucial part in keeping my mind from wandering into truly unnecessary places. It doesn’t stop the dreams though and last night I dreamt that my husband bought me three more ponies, so I think we can see how – even in sleep – I am still soothing my mind with thoughts of equines!

So, life is changing around us, in what I believe will be irreversible ways, as working from home becomes the new normal and people realise that they really can do with so much less – who knew that bringing a tube of pringles and cans of diet coke home could raise so much excitement in a house?

And as much as I wish I could click my fingers and make this all go away (with no fallout), there is a new normal that although it was a bit tight at the start (like my white jodhpurs), as the time goes on, it is becoming more bearable. This, I suspect, is the start of ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ and I know it is a dangerous way to feel, but for now, I think it is a survival trick being played on me by my brain, which might just prevent me from going mad!

The kids have been amazing (so far, so still alive) and although I know they miss their friends, they are good at keeping themselves busy – although sometimes a bit too busy for the ten-year-old that thinks isolation = wall to wall X-Box. Megan has decided to train our old collie dog some new tricks to pass the time and such is the brilliance of animals, he doesn’t question this and willingly goes along with her boredom-beating antics. So we are all learning something, even the old dog. Over the past few weeks I think I have learned the following;

• Trying to keep a ten-year-old boy- that has the concentration span of a peanut – sitting still for long enough to do any work resembling anything ‘school like’, is a big challenge.
• I can make a mean banana bread.
• The house is not clean and tidy, apparently not because I don’t have the time, but because I have other things I would much rather be doing.
• I can get ridiculously out of shape in a very short space of time. And any invisible scaffolding that used to hold my body in some sort of a framework, must have been dismantled for social distancing reasons.
• No matter how bored/unfit/insane I get, I will never, ever, feel the urge to dance around my living room in front of a tv, copying the ridiculously effortless movements of a curly-haired twenty something. I will only ever do that when the old school dance music comes on the music channel, late on a Saturday night and the idea is not to get fit, but to pretend you are 21 again.

So it is a time for a bit of self-reflection and taking each day as it comes. But for the meantime the animals will continue to be a comfort, because you know they don’t understand what’s going on, so they will never want to talk about something you are uncomfortable with and likewise they won’t judge you for not being your usual self. So, totally oblivious Tag goes on about his day, seemingly without a care in the world, although I know he does worry when he’s getting fed next, but at the minute that seems to be what is worrying me a lot too!!

#ourweebubble #iamturningintoone #mywaistmightburstthebubble #lettingmyselfgo #isolatedhairidontcare #whatanolddog #sorryjoeitisanogo #stay healthy #thatsallthatmatters #fornow

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